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The Only Explanation for Derek Anderson’s Downfall

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The investigation is over, the results are in: Derek Anderson sold his soul to the devil in exchange for the 24 million dollar deal that he signed.

There is no other explanation for how an NFL quarterback during the course of a season can go from one of the better ones in the league, to the absolute worst. Alright, there is THAT other possible explanation… you know the one that Bud Selig tried to hide. The one that fueled the Mark McGwire – Sammy Sosa home run chase. The one that turned Barry Bonds’ head from human to dinosaur-sized. The one that NFL locker rooms try to hide. The problem with that other explanation is that, as far as my medical knowledge has led me, anabolic steroids or HGH don’t make you smarter, better decision makers.

Physically Derek Anderson is the prototypical NFL quarterback. Actually he’s more than that, he was hand-sculpted into the perfect throwing machine and then blessed with a cannon for an arm. Anderson’s abilities are to the quarterback position what Brando’s were to the role of Don Corleone. Except, in Anderson’s case, he not only fails, he brings great players down with him. Michael Jordan is the ultimate example of a player who made everyone on his team better than they were. Anderson on the other hand has taken the best receiver in the league and a potential hall-of-famer in Larry Fitzgerald and brought him down into the darkness.

During a 12-start span in 2007, enough to give a good estimation, Anderson was completing nearly 60% of his passes for over 3000 yards with 25 TDs and a QB rating of around 90. He was lighting it up on a Browns team with a feature back of Jamal Lewis. Yes, Lewis ended the 07 season with 1300 yards, but during that 12 game span aside from a 213 yard outburst, averaged a paltry 55 yards per game. Teams knew that Anderson was going to pass, and he still earned himself a Pro-Bowl appearance. He also earned himself that fat new contract with 24 million in guaranteed money.

After that 12-game stretch of demonicly-possessed performances, he has appeared in 32 games with these stats: 434/864 for 5015 yards and 22 TDs compared with 32 Interceptions and 13 fumbles. His yards per game dropped from over 250 to barely over 150. Yards per attempt dropped from over 7.5 to under 6. He was sacked 10 times during the 12 game stretch… over the next 32, he’s been sacked 52 times. Sometimes sacks are caused by poor offensive lines, but with essentially the same line protecting him for most of the games, those sacks are on Anderson. His rating? About 30 points lower.

The devil never grants long leases, and in Anderson’s case, that lease lasted about 3 months. I hope the infernal contract was worth it, because he doesn’t have the glory that he had hoped for, nor the respect from anyone in or around the league. He does have money though, but what good is that without a soul?

Who knows, maybe Anderson didn’t make a deal with the devil, or maybe the country boy from Scappoose, Oregon was tricked into it. But, what’s done is done, and he, along with any team that he is on, is doomed. The only saving grace is that fans might get many more Coors Light commercial-like post-game press conferences like the one from yesterday (linked below). Although, unfortunately I can’t see Anderson being in the league much longer, let alone a starter. So, enjoy it while it lasts, at least we can move on when he’s no longer around. He will be stuck somewhere jousting in Dante’s 4th circle.

Derek Anderson Explodes on Reporter after MNF loss to 49ers


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